Weird Weekend

~ Monday, June 30, 2008 ~

Friday night I left work and went straight to my normal weekend haunt. I was hanging out with a friend, talking about the week's events, when Sara and her new husband walked in. Sara is a long time friend of mine. Her wedding was Friday, but since she didn't get the invitation to me until a couple of weeks before the wedding, I couldn't change my work schedule to make it to the nuptials.

She came over, and I offered her and her husband congratulations and good wishes. They went over to a table and joined some other people that had come from the reception. A few minutes later, the door to the bar opened and in walked my ex-fiance.

My ex-fiance rarely wears a dress, and even more rarely wears makeup. Friday night she was wearing both. Her hair had obviously been done especially for the wedding. She came over to my table and sat down next to me. Her divorce was now final, and she officially had her original last name returned to her.

We talked, and she met a few friends of mine that weren't around when she was. Eventually, we went to the back of the bar and hung out with a bunch of people we worked with years ago.

Somewhere during the course of our conversations through the night she mentioned how the relationship between her and me had blown up in her face. I told her it blew up in both of our faces. Then she said, "Yeah, but it was my fault." It's the first time she ever took any part of the blame for us breaking up. I was so shocked that I didn't say anything. I just continued on with the conversation.

Closing time came around, and I walked her out to her car. I talked to her a bit while she sat in her car. She said "It's funny how life seems to take me in circles." I told her that the way we were sitting out in the parking lot had a vague familiarity to it. You see, five years and about four months ago, I was leaning against her car talking to her through the window when we kissed for the first time.

When she mentioned that I paused for a few seconds and said, "It's time for you to go home."

She agreed with me, looked at the stereo in her car then looked back at me with her hed cocked a bit and a little smile. She looked at me for a long moment and then said, "Yeah, I better go home." And with that, I said goodnight and watched her drive away.

It wasn't nearly as easy to do that as I thought it would be.

Then I heard some people hanging out behind the bar on the deck, so I walked around to check it out. The people I used to work with were hanging out and having a conversation. Holly, who has tried time and time again since 2002 to get me to go home with her, said "If I were to ask you to come home with me and just hang out, what would you think I meant?" I told her that she was trying to get in my pants.

Then she asked what I would think if she put in the stipulation that I didn't have to have sex with her. I said "Then what would be the point?" Then I looked at everyone else and said "Is this what you were talking about or Holly, are you hitting on me?"

Everyone just kind of said they had no idea where she was going with the question. That's when I said "I have to work in the morning, I'm heading home."

And so I drove home and went to bed. I did have to work in the morning, but it was nice knowing that I had options if I wanted to take advantage of them.

Saturday night is a tale for another entry. Can you believe everything so far just covers six hours of my weekend?

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Breaking The Rules

~ Wednesday, June 25, 2008 ~

So in all the back and forth that was going on with my emotions for Taylor, I found myself bored at my normal weekend hangout. I turned around on the bar stool and saw a woman sitting next to me. I was about to say hello when she said it first.

The conversation flowed from there. In just a short time, I found out she's a cake designer from Tucson. She's in town visiting family and will be leaving at the end of the month. She's Catholic and went through Catholic schools through high school graduation. And that she was born just a few weeks before I was. I also found out she is married.

She stopped me in the middle of our conversation to let me know she was married. I told her I knew she was from the start. She started to get a bit of an attitude and asked if I was following some stereotype. I told her that I was following a stereotype - the one in which married people wear a wedding band on the ring finger of their left hand.

I told her that I didn't have any intention of trying to get her into bed. I just wanted to talk with someone interesting and hear some stories I haven't heard a hundred times before.

At one point, she was afraid her cousin wasn't going to show up to take her home and she said "If she doesn't show up, I'm going to have to crash at your place."

I started thinking about my rule dealing with sleeping with happily married people. But then I thought about "Road Trip" and this would completely fall under the different area code rule. Hell, we were in a different area code, state, and even time zone!

But her cousin showed up. Now I'll never know if I'll be too tempted to stick to my rule.

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Around The Bend

~ Tuesday, June 24, 2008 ~

It's been a few weeks. Let's see what's happened.

I suppose an update on what's going on with the girl from work is in order. It's gone back and forth quite a bit, but it has settled down to pretty much nothing now.

And I'm okay with that. Let me tell ya what happened.

There were some days where she would say "Have a good day at work friend." And then when work was over, send me a message from a book of essays about love... before I even let her know I was done with work. It is, at times, very maddening.

But things seem to be finalized when she said that I'd never know what I meant to her, and I said the story of how she's changed my thinking was a long, long story. She said she wanted to hear it. So I told her, and while I can't quote verbatim, I'm going to try to get as close as I can:

Over the past couple of years, I had pretty much grown content with the fact that I would never meet someone that caught my interest, someone that I thought of as I fell asleep and was my first thought when I woke up. I had resigned myself to this so much that I had given up even trying to be interested in anyone. Then you showed up, and I was interested. I saw your personality, your humor, and needless to say, your beauty. As we got to know each other, we had this connection we couldn't explain but we liked. Suddenly I had hope where I didn't have it before. Without even trying, you gave that to me.

All she said was "Wow!" and nothing else. She didn't bring it up again. I started to feel like I may have freaked her out. I thought about telling her that my feelings didn't come with expectations. I can't make someone like me, and if I see that not happening, I'm not going to force the issue. But I never told her that.

And now it seems our interactions are friendly, but not with that chemistry between us. I'd love for it to be there. I look for it, but it's not there in her. I'm okay with that, because I still have hope. And if I can't find happiness with her, I'll find it with someone else... maybe even someone I already know (or so I've been told by some Tarot card readers - not that I buy into it.).

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Out of Context

~ Saturday, June 7, 2008 ~

When I was in my 20s, I was a pretty talented womanizer. That reputation went away once I moved to Sioux Falls. When I did go out, I kept a low profile, barely spoke, and made very little eye contact. What I didn't realize was that this only drove up curiosity in my direction.

When one girl at work decided to bring me to a new bar, I met a lot of the same people and over the next couple of years re-earned my reputation. Then that girl and I finally embarked on a relationship that failed miserably.

Still, I have the reputation... but without the lifestyle. And it's things like what happened a couple of weeks ago that keeps my reputation going.

I was at work helping a customer out when Jessie, a former rugby player who happens to have a very nice body, stopped by. She patiently waited for me to notice her. I was waiting for something to load on the customer's computer when I asked if it was okay to see what she needed while we were waiting.

Me: Hey, Jessie! What's been going on?
Jessie: Not much. Hanging out at the house mostly.
Me: I meant to call you after that one night, but things got hectic and I never got around to it.
Jessie: That's okay. We'll get together soon enough. It hasn't been that big of a deal. I haven't really felt the need lately anyway, but I'll call you next week, okay?
Me: Sounds good to me. I think I might be able to squeeze you into my schedule. Why did you stop by?
Jessie: Just paying a bill. Thought I'd stop and say hello.

And off she went. I didn't realize until the other customer had left that he might have taken the conversation the wrong way. What Jessie and I were talking about was a night I was supposed to fix her computer. She mainly uses her computer for porn. If I don't fix the computer, she goes without it.

But I don't think that's what my other customer thought.

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23 Days

~ Monday, June 2, 2008 ~

It was a busy month.

I celebrated a few birthdays - one of them being my own. Well, I didn't celebrate my birthday, but it happened while I was away from blogging.

The girl at work and I are still getting along and seem to say to amaze each other at least once a week. I know this because she tells me, and I tell her. It's still progressing slowly, but it's progressing.

I'm out of the house and into an apartment. Things were getting bad at the house. I'm not sure how to describe it, but a few of my friends were a bit freaked out by the change in my roommate from the time when she used to hang out with us.

Work has me on my last nerve. I'm hoping to find some way to keep my sanity.

Anyway, I don't know if I'll be getting back to blogging regularly. I'm playing it by ear.

Right now, I feel like every nerve on me is exposed. It's taking all of my concentration just to keep me from locking myself in the dark and hiding until I feel safe.

Don't worry. I'm not depressed... just stressed. I still manage to laugh and have fun. Then I dart away for a few minutes to take a few deep breaths while my brain explodes a little bit.

I'll catch up on reading blogs Tuesday or Wednesday night.

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Agony

~ Thursday, May 8, 2008 ~

Things just can't be easy, can they?

Here's a little update on my little infatuation.

She just had a bad breakup with a guy so I'm kind of holding back a bit because I don't want to be the rebound guy. We still talk and all of that, but I'm not jumping at every chance to ask her out. I do this even though I find her getting into my every thought. Believe me, I feel silly for thinking about her as much as I do, but I'm not going to lie about it.

So yesterday was a day off except that we had a special meeting in the morning to kick off the launch of broadband speeds over our network in the Sioux Falls area. She and I talked a bit and then went on our ways - her to work and I to home to start filtering my possessions in preparation for my move at the end of the month.

Other than a phone call from Dad and one from Deej, I worked straight through from 9am until 5am this morning. I thought about texting her or even giving her a call after she got off work, but I didn't. Again, I'm trying to let this blossom slowly so that I don't become the rebound guy.

At work today, she came in after I did. Her first words to me were "So no text or call from you all day yesterday? Didn't you miss me?"

Aaahhhhh!!! Do you know how much I want to say she doesn't have to worry that I'm missing her because no matter what I'm doing, I think it would be better if she were with me?

She said later that she was giving me shit, but I think there's always a bit of truth behind little jokes like that. I know there's a bit of truth behind it when I say those things.

I keep getting told to cheer up because things could be worse.

In the words of Sam from "Love Actually," "Worse than the total agony of being in love?"

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If This Doesn't Work Out...

~ Wednesday, April 30, 2008 ~

...it's your fault, readers.

The store hired a new customer service person. She's the one that had diarrhea of the mouth a while back. Not long after that, we started talking about movies. She recommended a couple I should see, and I recommended a couple that she should see. Then we talked about them in our spare time at work. Then we did the same thing with books and music.

Now she's much younger than me, and while I was enjoying our conversations, I didn't really think ahead much. She had a boyfriend and we work together - both strikes in my book against getting involved with someone. The boyfriend fell out of the picture a couple of weeks ago.

Next, we were out with other people from work. Everyone was carrying on and having a good time. Every now and then she and I would look at each other across the table and have our own little inside joke about what was being said or who said it.

Then, out of the blue, she leans across the table and says "Do you feel like we have this weird connection?" I said I did because we seem to like the same books, movies, and music. We get the same first impressions from people. I can't explain it, but something's there. And she and I talked about it.

The party disbanded around midnight, and a few of us continued it until 2. Then fewer of us continued it until 4. As I got home, she texted me that had to talk. So I texted back "Then why don't you just call me instead of sending me a message?" We finished up our conversation at 5:30 in the morning.

Two days later and she and I have plans to go to Winnipeg for a couple of days to see Oasis and Ryan Adams in September.

Granted, this is just the beginning, and I have no idea where it's going, but I'm liking the ride so far.

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Fame

~ Sunday, April 27, 2008 ~

Alan Alda once said, "If given the choice between fame and fortune, I'll take fortune."

Yesterday I got called into work by a harried Taylor (diarrhea of the mouth girl). She asked if I could take a look at a phone she was working on. I told her to give me a few minutes, and I'd be there.

When I got there, she said "Sorry to get you out of bed, but it's nuts here." to which I replied "I'm just sorry you had to use a cell phone to get me out of bed." Yeah, I know. I'm a sexual harassment suit waiting to happen.

So I look at the phone for a few minutes and fix the problem. Taylor is momentarily happy. The customer can get on with their weekend, and I can get back to enjoying the weekend off.

I decide to stop by ShopKo on the way home and pick up a few things. As I was getting in my car to leave, I hear this guy say "Damn, you're looking better!" I turn around and see this early-20s guy talking to me. I gave him this "Who in the hell?" eyebrow contorting look.

He said "You've slimmed down a bit and did something with your hair." I can't even think of anything to say. I just cock my head a bit, waiting for him to let me know why he's talking to me.

"Dude, you work up the road, right? I've been in there a few times. You fix stuff without even thinking about it. You're awesome!" To which I replied, "Oh yeah, that's me. Thanks, man."

He asked me about my hair again, and I told him I got rid of the goatee. If he hadn't been getting his daughter out of his truck, I would have thought he was trying to pick me up.

The thing is that I work for a cell phone company that has over 70% of the local market, and I've been the only tech that's been in town longer than six months. People know me from where I work. I don't always remember them.

When people are with me, they get weirded out when someone randomly comes up to me to say hi or thanks. I have to explain that it happens all the time. I used to be uncomfortable about it. Now I'm fine with the fact that I can't go to the grocery store without having to spend a minute or two talking to someone I don't know.

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Sleep, I Knew Thee Well

~ Wednesday, April 23, 2008 ~

Great... my insomnia is kicking in again.

It always does this at the most invasive times, too. I have a long day tomorrow - 11 hours at work. On top of that, I'm the only tech at my store right now, and I'm backed up with taking care of some billing issues with a few customers. Believe it or not, I wish I had access to our system here so that when my insomnia kicks in, I'd be able to use that time to catch up on work stuff.

At least now I can finally take a look at NysaK's stair problem for her mini house undisturbed. I haven't forgotten!

That's the plan right now, anyway.

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Numb Tongue

~ Sunday, April 20, 2008 ~

Ugh... I think I'm on my way to a root canal.

I woke up this morning with extreme pain in my jaw. I thought maybe I just had the pillow wedged in a way that may have caused the pain. I tried the hot water of the shower to try to ease the pain, but it didn't go away. It was just as bad.

So I put a cold compress on my jaw, and it seemed to ease the pain. But as soon as I removed the compress, the pain returned with full force. So I did the ultimate test and slid some ice back into my mouth. It immediately felt like someone was trying to rip the head off of my neck.

So I stopped on the way to work and picked up some Orajel to get me through the day.

Lesson of the Day: Do not get Orajel on your tongue - especially when you are about to speak to strangers.

So I sit and wait in throbbing pain until tomorrow to call my dentist, who will promptly tell me it will be weeks before I can fit in his schedule.

I can't wait to see what is decided, because dental technology has advanced so far from the day when pliers and drills were used. Oh wait...

Orajel is my best friend right now.

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Eleven Years

~ Tuesday, April 15, 2008 ~

Happy Anniversary, Deej!

Besides my mom and my sister, you've been a part of my life longer than any other woman I've known. I don't know how much of that is a testament to our friendship or your ability to put up with me.

Are ya ready for 11 more? How about more than that? I'm in!

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The Man Behind The Words

~ Saturday, April 12, 2008 ~

Due to the lack of anything creative to say, I figured I'd let everyone see just what I look like. Actually, the goatee is gone, but I don't have a post-facial hair picture yet.

I think this picture was taken at this year's Super Bowl party at Willie's, my bar of choice.

So now you can put a face with the words. And if you happen to be in Sioux Falls and see me, stop and say hello.

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I'm A Little Weird, I Know

~ Thursday, April 10, 2008 ~

Read the title of this entry if you haven't already. I just want to be sure you have fair warning about what I'm going to write about today.

When the weather starts getting warmer, and winter is on its way out, spring fever begins taking over the actions of a lot of people. I experienced that when I was a kid. Once I hit high school, things kind of changed.

A girlfriend of mine and I were kissing and we ended up biting each other's bottom lip. That's when I first remember that I enjoyed the taste of blood. I wish I could explain how it tastes to me... a bit sweet with a bold, undefined flavor mixed in. It's kinda like honey mustard dressing only something was used to replace the mustard.

Now don't get me wrong. I'm not talking about liking the taste of blood in that I'd drink a glass like I would of lemonade. But licking a fresh cut on someone isn't completely out of the question for me.

That someone has to be female. I don't know why that is, but that's how it works in my mind.

So lately I've been having a bout of insomnia. Then, in the middle of the night a couple of nights ago, I found myself kind of missing the taste. It's been awhile. I dunno. I didn't act on it, but it's the first time I've ever missing the taste.

So anyway, I'm weird. I don't understand why some things are the way they are with me. I don't try to change them, and I try to keep them at bay so they don't change me.

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No I Don't Have A Gun

~ Tuesday, April 8, 2008 ~

You ever stay awake to keep from dreaming because you had a dream that disturbed you? It didn't scare you. It disturbed you. I had one of those dreams.

I woke up about 20 minutes before my alarm clock was supposed to go off. I just opened my eyes and let them focus on the wall next to my bed. Brief glints of sunlight moved along with the wind moving the branches on the tree outside my window.

I got out of bed and walked into the other room where I sat on the couch. I scratched my eyebrow as I looked at the floor next to my feet. I was trying to make sense of the dream I had just had. I didn't even remember any details from the dream except for the last 5 seconds. In that 5 seconds of my dream, I pulled out a pistol and shot someone in the head.

I can still see the look in my face. There was no question about it. I was going to pull the trigger. It wasn't out of need. The look I had on my face was spite.

Yeah... talk about messed up.

I tried to remember what happened in the dream before that last five seconds. All I could see in my thoughts were brief glimpses of a fight between this person and me.

After 10 minutes, I gave up trying to figure out what happened in the dream. I went back to bed and pulled the covers over me just to get a few minutes more sleep before the alarm went off.

And I had the same dream again.

Apparently I have some unresolved issues. But I don't have a gun.

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Diarrhea of the Mouth

~ Monday, April 7, 2008 ~

Yeah, it's a pretty gross title, but I'm pretty sure we've all used the phrase.

Do you ever say something and immediately wish you could take it back? Or do you wonder why you even said it to begin with?

One of the customer service people at work was talking to a salesman and said "I wish you were a manager instead of him. That way I could screw my manager and get things I want."

He looked at her and kind of tilted his head. She immediately turned beet red and walked over next to me. "Why didn't you stop me from saying that?!"

Me: "Why? What did you say this time?"
Her: "I can't even repeat it. I don't know why I said it!"
Me: "I've said some pretty bad things. It can't be worse than any of those."

So she tells me what she said. I look down and to the left and then down and to the right. Then I look her in the eye and said, "Nope. I was wrong. I've never in my life said anything that bad. I'm going to take a break."

I left her standing there with her mouth hanging open. I keep getting told that these are moments when I'm supposed to be supportive and understanding. But it's too much fun being just the opposite.

Anyway, she came up to me while I was on break and said "I don't even want to screw him! I think it's just because I haven't had sex in months, I've only gone out drinking once this year, and I'm about to explode over any guy that shows any interest in me whatsover..." at which point she notices that I'm just looking at her like I'm in a college class concentrating on the professor so I'll remember what he's saying. She continues "...and I don't even know why I'm telling you this because I'm only making matters worse and quit looking at me like that. I need a cigarette dammit!"

When she came back from her cigarette, I was writing things down on a piece of paper. "What are you doing?" she asked.

Me: "Writing down a to-do list for tonight."
Her: "I should make a to-do list too."
Me: "Yeah? I bet I can guess who'll be on it."
Her: "I hate you."

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A Vacation From My Life

~ Thursday, April 3, 2008 ~

Going to Omaha is officially out, but I decided to move into my own place at the beginning of June. I got a text from one of my friends that's going through a divorce. She got a place of her own and asked if I wanted to be her roommate. She didn't even know that I had turned down the move to Omaha.

I got the text today right before a friend of mine and I were headed into the theater to see 21. I just shut my phone off and waited for the movie to be over. After the movie, the friend and I parted ways. She had taken a long lunch to catch the movie and had to get back to work.

I replied to the text, "I dunno. Think you'll be okay with the night traffic that goes along with my life?" The next text to me said "I didn't think about that."

I wasn't in the mood for where this conversation might be headed so I just replied "We'll talk about it tomorrow."

You know, I don't remember when it was, but my life was pretty simple at one point. I don't know where I lost control. I can't say that I'm not enjoying it, but I think I need a vacation from my life for a week or two.

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Always Juggling

~ Tuesday, April 1, 2008 ~

It's not official yet, but barring a miracle, I'll be staying in Sioux Falls. I talked to Roger today and told him what kind of money it would take to get me to move to Omaha. He said he doubted they could do that, but he'd let me know Thursday for sure.

I said "You know you have to give me a 7% raise just to keep my take home pay the same, right? So I figure with that plus the promotion, I'll make the move for a 16% raise. Plus, the company pays for my moving expenses."

He said, "I doubt we can go that high."

I said, "Then I'm not interested."

Roger said, "Well, let me check the numbers and call you back on Thursday."

Then apparently I hurt the store manager's feelings with a sarcastic comment. He must not get my sarcasm. I'll smooth things over with him tomorrow. Right now he doesn't like me. I don't really care. That's his problem, not mine.

So it looks like I'll still be in Sioux Falls when all of this is over.

Chances are I'll be moving back into a place of my own in the next couple of months, though.

Hey, I have to keep life interesting.

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Top 5 First Kisses: Number 1

~ Sunday, March 30, 2008 ~

Wow... talk about timing for this one.

About 8 years ago, I was introduced to someone at work. She was joining the team I was on. The first thing I said to her was "I know another girl with that name, but I think it's just the name she uses when she's dancing."

A couple of weeks later, the team was regularly going to the local watering hole after work. Sometimes it was all of us. Sometimes it was just her and me. When it was just her and me, we talked about things we never talked about around the team - Einstein's theories, astronomy, chemistry, philosophy, politics, and religion.

Soon she and I were at the bar most every night. She had a boyfriend and I wasn't about to violate the relationship. Over the two years that we talked, we never once hugged or kissed on the cheek... something that just comes naturally to me with every other woman I'm friends with. But I did have a crush on her.

Over that time we had talked about relationships, boundaries, and how we lived. We both said we could never be in a relationship because there were so many differences. People started asking when we were finally going to get together and we always answered, sometimes in unison "Oh we've talked about it. Never gonna happen."

Then she broke up with her boyfriend. Soon after that a friend of ours told her "If you don't tell him how you feel, you're going to lose him forever." That prompted a 5 hour middle of the night drive while we talked about crossing that line. By the time the drive was over, we agreed that even talking about it meant we were crossing the line. Still, there was no hug or kiss.

Then, on February 17th, after a night at the bar, we were in the parking lot alone. She was in her car and I was talking to her. I started to walk to my car before I turned and said "Wait..."

She gave me this look and said "What?" With that, I walked over and kissed her. It was a long kiss... I don't know how many minutes. No music was playing. No one was around. When we pulled back a bit, we were looking in each other's eyes. While she was catching her breath (and I was catching mine), she said "So are you gonna get in my car or what?"

And that kiss was from...

Number 1: Cheri

Suffice it to say, we got together, got engaged, lived together for a few months and ended the relationship in an explosive way. There were fights that lasted for days. One of us would leave a fight only to come back hours later just to start the fight again.

Even after we broke up, in the clearing of the smoke, we tried to maintain our friendship only to end up in bed every time. We broke up on Thanksgiving, and the breakup finally ended in May. We were at a bonfire talking, and I called her the wrong name.

After that, I didn't see her again until she was married. She came up to the bar a few times with her husband. Then I didn't see her for three years... until this past Friday night.

She may be around some more, and we may become friends again. We'll never be anything more though.

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Who Needs Drugs?

~ Saturday, March 29, 2008 ~

This has been perhaps the most surreal day I've lived in my life.

We'll start a couple of days ago when my roommate and I were talking about finances. I assured her that I would give her plenty of notice if I were going to be moving. On top of that, a woman at work, Kim, had just taken the open tech position after much prodding by me. She and I have been wanting to work more closely together for awhile now.

So I get to work today and my boss, Dave, and my boss's boss, Roger, are there. Dave is in the store about one day a month. Roger is almost never in the store. Today Roger was there to get me to take a promotion that would move me to Omaha or Fargo. I told him Fargo was out, and that I'd have to let him know Monday about Omaha. So I gotta talk to the roommate about finances. Kim is still in denial about the possibility of me moving away.

Close to closing time, Sara walked into work with a friend of hers. I talked to Sara's friend about her phone and such and told them I'd be at Willy's later. Right about then, Matt and Jules walk in. Jules is my ex-fiance's daughter. Matt is her dad. Matt is also the ex-boyfriend of Sara.

Sara whispered into Jules's ear who I was. She turned and looked at me then hid behind Matt. Jules is 10 years old and has never been shy. It had been four years since I last saw her. Seeing her hide from me was like taking a kick in the gut.

A little while later I leave work and head to Willy's where I find... wait for it... my ex-fiance, Cheri. After three years, she shows back up to talk to me. Our breakup was bad... bad like a tornado. The friends I had then are still my friends and still hang out at Willy's.

So I walk in and everyone's looking at me, waiting for a reaction. I say hello to a few people and Cheri's looking at me with a big smile. We start talking and pretty much pass the next three hours catching up on things.

Cheri and I have always had this weird, cosmic connection... the kind of connection I never really believed in until I met her. You see, before we even knew who each other was... before we even lived in the same state, we had both gone to Chicago. I was showing pictures I took in Chicago to her one night.

She came over the next night with the pictures she took while she was in Chicago. They were the same pictures with the same angles. The only difference was in the slight color differences. I'm not talking three or four pictures. I'm talking 35 to 40 pictures.

So we're talking tonight and she shows me a picture of Invesco Stadium on her phone. She had gone last winter for the Vikings-Broncos game. I had been there in 2005 for the Raiders-Broncos game. Weird thing is... we stayed at the same hotel, the Red Lion Inn. We both went to two bars - Coyote Ugly and a hole-in-the-wall Latino "sports bar." And we both sat in the same section on the same row... only three seats apart.

Our talk finished. We exchanged phone numbers and she headed home. Then a few minutes later, Holly, an old friend of mine, showed up. I hadn't seen her since Cheri and I ran into her at the hospital parking garage one day five years ago.

Holly talked about how I cured her road rage and that she thinks of me every morning on her way to work. We talked about the time she kept me up all night listening to Ani diFranco songs while she showed me pictures of Manhattan.

As the bar was closing, Holly said goodbye to the guys she came to the bar with and walked up to me at the bar, where she promptly invited me over to listen to Ani DiFranco music. I politely declined even though I knew I was giving up a sure thing... especially since she said "You don't know what you'll be missing" when I said I had to go home.

So here I sit, ready to finish up this entry, and go to bed where I'm sure I'll have the strangest dreams I never imagined.

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Top 5 First Kisses: Number 2

~ Friday, March 28, 2008 ~

Looking back at the situation, it seems cheesy now. It was bereft of mid to late 80s pop culture, but that doesn't really take away from the moments that followed.

It happened after I met her at a Halloween party. I was dressed in the old cliche, a skeleton outfit. It was at an off-campus duplex. Georgia, the girl who was renting the place, had gone all out with the decorations.

She grabbed my arm and led me to the unfinished basement. She had cobwebs all over the wall frameworks. She had a witch's cauldron with dry ice smoke pouring out of it. I was checking things out when this girl fell from the ceiling and knocked me to the floor.

Georgia said, "Ed, meet Pam. She's been waiting for you to show up." So Pam and I talked for a bit. I'm sure I made some obvious joke about her jumping my bones. We went upstairs and made more small talk as music from The Violent Femmes and Echo and the Bunnymen broke the nearly constant holiday music.

Things were going well, and she was matching my bravado which can be hard to do at times. Just ask Deej. So in the days of "Twin Peaks" mania, I did what I thought would send the right signal. I put a cherry in my mouth and tied the stem in a knot with my tongue, leaving the cherry attached to the stem.

She did a little golf clap and said something like "Bravo" in a "whatever" tone. Then she showed me up by tying the stems of two cherries together with her tongue, leaving both cherries attached.

I'm pretty sure the next words out of my mouth were "I think this is going to be a fun night."

Number 2: Pam
Soon we were walking back to campus. As soon as we got to my dorm room, the door was closed and we kissed each other hard.

When we did stop for air, she told me to put on some music. I hit the remote on my CD player and "Hazy Shade of Winter" by The Bangles started playing.

After that, well, you can imagine what happened that night. Two weeks later we were either shacked up in her dorm room or my dorm room. We ended up getting engaged. We planned out our lives to the age of 40.

Plans have a way of getting lost in the storms that roll through our lives though. Pam was the only girlfriend I ever cheated on. She knew it right away and cheated right back on me. We survived that.

I'm not so sure how our life together would have been though. Everything in our life was all out. We fought hard. We loved hard. We partied too much when we partied and we worked hard when we worked.

She became a history teacher in Los Angeles. I was supposed to go to work for IBM, but was laid off before I even started working in 1990.

I didn't go to California with her. And with that decision, our plans were gone.

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